Applewhite is still savoring the sweet victory of inspiring her ophthalmologist to change his language around aging. The doctor, who’s also in his 70s, told her that he no longer asks his senior patients how “young” they are. “I was like, ‘Hallelujah, dude,’” she recalls. “I told him it’s not good for us. All it does is emphasize the mother of all age stereotypes, which is that young is better.”
“I’m not old, I’m just vintage.”
Go ahead and groan the next time you hear this one. Gendron thinks of euphemisms like this as red flags that someone is afraid to identify as old. “Until we destigmatize what it means to be old, there’s never going to be a word that replaces it that makes it OK,” she says. “So stop saying ‘I’m not old, I’m just seasoned or vintage or mature or experienced.’ No, you’re old, and there’s nothing wrong with being old.”
“That’s not age-appropriate.”
Applewhite doesn’t wear miniskirts. But that’s because she doesn’t like them—and she didn’t in her 20s, either. The idea that there’s a right way to dress, behave, or live at a given age is one of her biggest pet peeves. “There is no such thing as ‘age-appropriate’ for adults,” she says. “Adults do not revert to children. There are styles, but, hello, people of all ages have access to the style pages and can decide whether or not they want to dress like Sabrina [Carpenter] or Alicia Keys.”